


Part of the Journey is the End

by alexcat



Series: 2020 Cap - Iron Man Bingo  (2) [5]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Bingo, Canonical Character Death, M/M, Past Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-14 17:21:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28924269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexcat/pseuds/alexcat
Summary: Steve ponders questions he has about Tony.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: 2020 Cap - Iron Man Bingo  (2) [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1879633
Comments: 1
Kudos: 16
Collections: Captain America/Iron Man Bingo, Of Elves and Men





	Part of the Journey is the End

**Author's Note:**

> For STONY Bingo 2020. Round 2 - Prompt: Tragedy
> 
> Show me a hero and I'll write you a tragedy. ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald

Steve stood by the lake alone, thinking of Tony. He’d thought of little else since he’d given his life on the field of battle. It was almost beyond his comprehension to think of living in a world without Tony Stark in it. He was thankful to have had the last weeks with him. 

Their love had been an open secret at the compound after Tony came back to help build their time machine. Steve was fairly sure they’d never hidden it well in the first place. Bucky had known in Siberia. Sam and Natasha had known. Hell, even Pepper had known. 

Pepper pulled him aside several days after the memorial service. 

“I know how much he loved you, Steve. He could never say the words out loud. I’m sure he probably never told you. He had trouble telling me, too.”

Steve had no words, either. He smiled sadly at her. Did she know about the last weeks? He felt guilty just looking at her. 

She put her hand on his arm, squeezing gently. “I knew. I knew from the time he met you. I knew that it was,” she paused as if searching for the right word, “real. Physical and emotional. He was extraordinary and easily the most annoying man on earth. He had such a big presence. He had so much to give and he required so much from those of us who loved him.”

“Where do we go from here?” he asked her, not able entirely to keep a few of his tears from falling. 

“I have a child to raise. You, he said to me once that you deserved a life, too, since you’d never had one.”

Steve was surprised. In all the time he and Tony had been together, he’d never said anything like that to him. But then, they never talked much. They’d either been fighting evil, fighting one another or making love most of their time together. It had always been hurried, nearly frantic between them, as if they’d known how limited their time together would be. 

“How do I do that, Pepper? Everywhere I look, I see him.” 

She nodded sadly. “Yes, I know. I have a miniature of him in my house. She’s been asking if she can wear my suit when she’s big enough. She tinkers in Tony’s shop out in the garage. I had to get Happy to remove anything dangerous so she wouldn’t build a bomb by accident.”

He smiled. “She even looks like him.” 

“Go out there somewhere and find a life. For Tony, for yourself. You and Tony were both right. And both too stubborn to ever give an inch.”

“Did he know?”

“Know?” She looked quite guarded. 

“That he would be the one who did this?” Tony had a very fatalistic attitude sometimes, but Steve had never been sure how much he actually _knew_ about the future. 

“I think he did. I think that was why he was so reluctant. He knew it would be you or him, and those were things he couldn’t bear to think about. He ignored it all for as long as he could, instead.”

Steve closed his eyes, aware of the tears he couldn’t hide from Pepper anymore. She pulled him into her arms and hugged him close. He thought she smelled a little like Tony and felt a little comfort in that. 

“When I was a little girl, my grandmother died and my father told me that we are all made from the same material as the stars in the sky and when we die, we simply return to the sky to be made again and again. I – I like to think he’s out there somewhere, about to be made into something new,” Pepper told him as she still held him. “He’d tell me that’s silly, but it works for me.” 

He pulled away and looked into her now tear streaked face. “I think it works for me, too. Thank you, Pepper.”

“Don’t forget what he said. Go live, Steve. It’s what we can do for him.”

She kissed his cheek and walked back to the cottage.

**Author's Note:**

> My [**Tumblr**](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/alexcat45).


End file.
